For
about two years, I’ve been working on weeding out my life, and daydreaming
about just plowing the whole field and starting over. Not really, but on the
times that I am forced to consider what would happen if, oh, say a hurricane
blew my house away and there are things I would be very upset over loosing –
mostly those that are sentimental and irreplaceable. But a secret part of me
has always wondered if I wouldn’t be secretly relieved to be parted with the
extra things that just keep hanging around.
I’ve
often thought it would be easier to get rid of things if I had a good place for
them to go and wasn’t just dropping of boxes at a thrift shop. For instance, my
grandfather used to give me a porcelain doll each year. I love them. They’re
beautiful and I love that he picked them out himself. But right now, they’re
grouped together on the old record player and I teasingly call them the doll
army. I might keep one for the sentimentality, but do I need an army of them?
The
sentimentality issue lingers because I always wanted something that belonged to
my mother when she was a child. Because she was a navy-brat, she got rid of her
things as she got older. I vowed I would keep some things for my children. So I
kept my favorite toys and they’ve been sitting in boxes in the top of my
closet. Again. I could keep a few things. I don’t need boxes of them. My
children might not even like old toys anyway.
But
they linger there as I bounce back and forth in my mind of what to do. I’ve
heard all the arguments. “They might be worth something. Your kids might like
them. They don’t make things good-quality anymore.” The list goes on and on and
I must admit, it sounds pretty good to just let them sit there, awaiting future
glory.
Unless
I’m feeling guilty because it’s things I don’t use. Or overwhelmed because I
have to figure out what to do with it. And what about the things that I’ve hung
onto because someone gave them to me, but they’re not particularly sentimental?
It’s guilt that keeps them around. What about all the time I spend cleaning the
things I don’t use?
And
what about all the places in the Bible where it talks about not storing up
things on earth, and selling your things to help the poor? What about all the
people in the world who have even less than I do, who live off of next to
nothing? How do they fit into this picture?
I can’t
claim to have all the answers yet, but lately the questions have been coming up
more and more. I have two boxes of things I haven’t parted with, simply because
I don’t want to just dump them. I needed a cause to rally up my courage to make
the leap.
Last
week while cleaning the church, I stumbled on the book, “Enough” and recognized
the title, though I couldn’t remember who had recommended it to me or when they
had done so. It’s going to take some further investigation before I accept
anything as “Bible doctrine” but much of what he says resonates with me. And
helps relieve my fears about parting with things. Right now I have just enough
to cover my bills and basic expenses. But it is enough and more than most of
the world has. Although by the book’s standard – I’m that “poor” young woman
who is one large medical expense or broken car away from going below. But for
right now – that is enough.
So while I was cleaning the church, I was thinking about a
friend of mine whom I used to go to church with. She’s recently been diagnosed
with cancer. Kaitlyn is a sweet girl and not long graduated out of highschool.
I was thinking about how I could support her while she goes through chemo and
God brought to mind that I could sell some of my things in a garage sale. I
live a few hours from her so I don’t think I could set one up effectively but I
wrote her mother to see if anyone was planning one. And her sister had
mentioned it.
So. There it is. My answer. My cause. My justification for
parting with even those nice things that I enjoy that people gave me, but they
just don’t seem to fit with where I want to take my life. So.
Life-simplifying, step one, begun: Looking at my possessions
with new eyes. Will this do more good for me, or Kaitlyn?
No comments:
Post a Comment